she looked like the bat from fern gully.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
