i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
