it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
