I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
