i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
