Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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