He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
