Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
