I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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