I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
