i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I will pee on everything he values.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You pole danced in your parka.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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