totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
