My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
