there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
