I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
