Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
