I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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