there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
