jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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