how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
