I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
