white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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