I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
