So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
