you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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