you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
third nipple confirmed
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
