put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
