TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
