So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
