new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
