Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
