Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
