Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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