Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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