Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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