He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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