Well douche your snatch and let's go!
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
