and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
