): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I just found puke in my bra..
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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