i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
