your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
