The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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