i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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