Dual....:-)
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You made out with two different species that night
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Randomize
