come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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