no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
