Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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