You made me cry and you don't even care
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
