that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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