pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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