if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
