She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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