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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
