Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
