Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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