Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
