thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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